Where on earth do I start this report?  In this vital match England were suppose to up their game, with fresh and plenty of flair-minded players coming in to the side to change the mindset.  What did manager Gareth Southgate do?  He ignored everyone's advice and apart from Kobbie Mainoo he kept to his tried and trusted favourites.  A recipe for disaster, well almost, as it turned out.

The game started with a farcical moment as Slovakia kicked off, went to blast the ball downfield, and it hit Harry Kane on the head and looped 40 yards to the goalkeeper's arms.  Now that would have been a goal and a half!  I wondered if it was recorded as a shot on target?  Almost immediately, the Turkish referee made his presence felt with one of several bookings.  Kieran Trippier's bad pass put Marc Guehi under pressure and his late tackle was punished with a harsh yellow card, and that puts one of our better players out of the next match.

Five minutes into the play Slovakia almost opened the scoring when David Hancko broke through in the inside-left position but guided his shot just the wrong side of the far post.  Two minutes later and Bukayo Saka and Mainoo combined to create something only for Mainoo to also receive a yellow card for the most innocuous of challenges.  I have watched many of the games in this tournament and some referees have let almost everything go, whilst Mr Umut Meler seemed to want to book all the England players before half-time!

It was another stuttering start for England but one cross from the right presented the incoming Trippier with a golden chance but his shot was so high it gathered snow on the way down.  Twelve minutes gone and Slovakia almost score again.  This time Lukas Haraslin beat Jordan Pickford but Trippier was on hand to clear the 'snow covered' ball off the line this time.  Another booking, for a Slovak player followed and the ref was the man of the match at this stage.  Not to be outdone, Jude Bellingham is also booked for another weak challenge.  I wrote down at that moment that there will be a sending-off soon, the way things were going.

On 23 minutes Mainoo shot over after battling play by Phil Foden but two minutes later came the moment we all feared.  David Strelec attacked the England defence, slipped the ball through to Ivan Schranz who cleverly side-footed the ball into the net.  We prayed for VAR to intervene, it didn't!

England's build-up is so slow yet again, and on two occasions Saka and Kane both overhit crosses, which has been a feature of this tournament in every match.  Maybe the footballs are too light perhaps?  Bellingham then won a corner, but the referee ended that move, giving a foul against John Stones.  Declan Rice went close with a header but England were not looking comfortable at all.  It was also so easy to defend against their powderpuff attack.  Final passes were poor and nothing was working, with Saka and Foden both being out-muscled on a regular basis by the physically strong Slovakian defenders.  Another booking for a Slovak player, the ref, at least, was having a sparkling game!

So the half ended with Slovakia comfortably holding their deserved lead.  It was another hard watch of a very disjointed England for the fans, and they let their feelings be known as the players went off.  Basically it had been a shambles and then, my pen even ran out!!

A brighter start to the second-half and four minutes in, 'Heavens to Murgatroyd', England have the ball in the net.  It was a good move too, with Trippier breaking down the left before crossing for a simple tap-in for Foden.  Funnily enough, I never shared the excitement as I am always wary of VAR.  Sure enough, a check was done and Foden was too quick to pounce and was given offside.  It was not going to be England's night.  I was annoyed with Foden because all he had to do was stay behind the ball, but in his eagerness to score he moved forward too quickly.

On 55 minutes there was another comical incident, if you can call it that, as a dreadful England free-kick was played square straight to a Slovakian on the halfway line.  He spotted Pickford way off his line and went for the shot.  Pickford's embarrassment was saved by the ball drifting just wide of the post.  Phew!

The scrappy play continued up to the hour mark and then there were substitutions, but not from England.  Although, a few minutes later Southgate brought on Cole Palmer, taking off Trippier, who had actually been one of our better players thus far.  Palmer immediately in the action with a good cross, but England have been beaten in the air on almost every occasion, and so it was again.  On 78 minutes a golden chance for Kane as Foden's fine free-kick was headed just wide by the England talisman.  You would have put money on Kane scoring with that one.  Three minutes later and Rice confirmed it was not to be England's day as his fine low shot cannoned back off the post with the goalkeeper Martin Dubravka hopelessly beaten.

Confused, you won't be, as Southgate takes off our best player, Mainoo, and replaces him with Eberechi Ezi, who has hardly played any football recently.  The clock seemed to be counting down much quicker than it usually does, and another masterstroke from Southgate was to bring on Ivan Toney with just three minutes of added time to go.  At this point I breathed a heavy sigh and put down my pen, the match was lost.

But wait, what light through yonder window breaks, WE SCORED!!!!  A long throw, a headed flick on, and there is Bellingham executing the most delicious overhead kick to somehow bring England level.  What a moment that was,  but then my first thought, dreaded penalties again?  No worries, this England side know how to string us along.

Into extra time, in fact one minute into it, and Palmer delivers a cross into the box, it is headed clear, but Ezi is there to shoot at goal.  He scuffs his shot but it bounces just right to land on the head of Toney who nods the ball back across goal and there is Kane to power home a close range header.  Would you Adam and Eve it!

The rest of the extra-time period was a blur to be honest.  Not much happened as far as I was aware because I was still reeling from the shock of it all.  Football eh, what a game, and that Southgate masterstroke to bring on Toney so late, was a masterstroke after all.  So much for my sarcasm.  Credit where it is due, England battled to the very end, but Slovakia must have been devastated. 
Good isn't it!
     

Source Notes