What a crazy, crazy, crazy football match we had for England's final offering in this topsy-turvy tournament. As play began England were first to show as Marcus Rashford skipped down the left before firing in a cross that was headed away, but then a minute later, amazing things began to happen. Declan Rice, captain for the night, brilliantly intercepted a pass from Desire Doue and strode fast towards goal. He didn't hesitate and from 20 yards he curled in a sublime shot that left keeper Mike Maignan open-mouthed with shock. It was just the sort of thing we lacked against Argentina, but hey-hoe that's gone now. What a fabulous start it was to the match that no-one really wanted.

France tried to hit back but were shut out by determined defending and the first few minutes had seen a very open game where anything could happen, and by golly it did! On seven minutes Rashford did well again but his goalbound shot was deflected by Malo Gusto for a corner. A minute later and Kylian Mbappe was almost through but England recovered to quell the danger. Gusto fouled Djed Spence but the free-kick comes to nothing before, at the other end, Dean Henderson makes a good save from a shot by Rayan Cherki. All this action was in the first ten minutes. Then, in the 11th minute Bukayo Saka gets through and scores, but the flag is up for offside. I've never seen a French side with so many gaps at the back, mind you, England's defence wasn't that much better at times.

The action continued at both ends, Mbappe won a corner and then Marc Guehi tried to find Rashford with a long pass which unfortunately was overhit. Then Saka came close again as his shot at goal was stopped by the head of Maxenc Lacroix deflecting it over for another corner. But the attack wasn't over because from Rice's corner in to the middle, a salmon-like leap by Ezri Konsa saw him glance a brilliant header into the corner, again past a bemused Maignan in goal. Just before the first drinks break, Mbappe showed his danger again by curling a shot in that went just wide.

After the restart Jarell Quansah did well to win a throw-in, but watching, it looked as though every attack would produce a goal, it was that mad! In the 33rd minute Maignon saved well from another good effort from Rashford, whilst two minutes later Henderson made an equally good save when it seemed that Mbappe must score. It was frantic stuff and you couldn't take your eyes off the action of this game. Henderson made another save and England broke away again and Saka sent Rashford once again running clear. He so nearly scored a third goal but was blocked, however he cleverly kept possession and then laid the ball off to Saka, following up, who fired home. It was great footwork from Rashford and a lovely finish by Saka. The England fans, and me, couldn't believe our eyes, 3-0 up against France? Never. But it gets better.

In the remaining minutes before the break, Rashford went close again and a great chance went begging when Ivan Toney and Saka misread the other's run. Then a minute into added time, Spence is fouled and from the free-kick the ball ran to Eberechi Eze and he sent a sublime pass through to Saka who slotted home goal number four with the minimum of fuss. Half-time score France 0 England 4, yes, four.

France were in disarray and I have never seen a French defence so open, except when the small boats get across the Channel. Oops, sorry, not allowed to mention politics. From a French point of view though it really was a shambles. And not unexpectedly, they brought on four substitutes after the break and at the time, I wrote in my notes, and this is the honest truth, why was I worried that we might lose this four goal lead? Couldn't understand why Thomas Tuchel took off Rashford, replacing him with Ollie Watkins, Rashford had been in great form?

Watkins was soon in the action though, losing the ball allowing France to attack the open England defence. The ball went to Mbappe who took full advantage and scored an easy goal. Now that was annoying. We seemed to have gone to sleep since the break instead of stepping it up to meet the threat that us fans knew was coming. France started to look dangerous every time they attacked and Michael Olise almost got through. At the other end Eze tried to lob the goalkeeper from the halfway line but was off target and then some shocking defending allowed Bradley Barcola a free run at goal, and he had no trouble pulling another goal back. Uh Oh, I thought, and then Henderson was again left exposed although he saved the shot but it was offside anyway. More chances came and went as France dominated and England's players looked dead on their feet, but still no sign of movement from the bench.

Henderson made two fine saves but when in the 66th minute Mbappe scored another easy goal the alarm bells were really ringing loud and clear. England were very poor in that period between half-time and the second water break and after the restart Olise should have equalised but missed a sitter. Mbappe tries for a penalty but Saka is the one felled and the onslaught carries on as England's back players are all over the place. At last Tuchel wakes from his slumbers to make some substitutions, bringing on Elliot Anderson and Jude Bellingham for the disappointing Toney and Eze. Almost immediately Bellingham should have scored but was eventually stopped by desperate defending. Olise missed another sitter, the ref got a bout of cramp, the struggling Quansah is subbed by Reece James and Mbappe sees another shot saved. Overall the half was a mess.

But then, surprise, surprise, Spence makes another speedy run into the box and is blatantly tripped by Gusto and England win a penalty. Bellingham had the ball in his hands but gave it to Saka. I wasn't hopeful, but Bukayo had no doubt and rolled the ball into the net for his hat-trick. Phew! Surely we wouldn't blow it now with just three minutes of the ninety left? But in football a lot can happen in added time. France came back but offside saves us, Guehi went off to give Trevoh Chalobah a few minutes and the last sub actually saw two more goals.

First of all, Rice's one mistake of the night saw his pass intercepted, then fed out to Ousmane Dembele, who cut inside and beat Henderson with ease. That goal came after 90+6 minutes, but just to add even more spice to the game, Bellingham raced onto a loose ball on the halfway line two minutes later and sprinted for goal. He arrived in the penalty area to the left of goal but then proceeded to skip through the French defence before firing goal number six for England and the seventh of the tournament for our shining star.

What a game, what a mess, what a finish! Don't know about the players but I'm exhausted too and I am now on a long hydration break until our next match in September.

Oh, and by the way, I couldn't care less who wins the World Cup Final as long as it is not Argentina.
  

Source Notes